This Just in: Barack Obama can Never be Blamed for Anything.

It's just not his fault, honestly. George W. Bush puts this country through hell for eight years and you all want to blame his successor? Let's settle this once and for all,

Even if President Obama oversees the complete and total destruction of the United States of America, it would be totally unfair to blame him for it.

I mean, after what Bush did, we can't really expect anything more than that, right?

Some foolish Libertarian-types complain that Obama's $3.6 Trillion budget proposal will create an unsustainable federal deficit that will plague future generations through no fault of there own and ultimately generate a precarious national security picture due to inevitable defaults on Chinese loans, coupled with Sky-high, investment-discouraging interest rates which the Fed will be forced to enact in futile attempts to attract foreign investors to the once powerful U.S. dollar.

Picky, picky, picky, I say. Obama should spend at least a few trillion more dollars just to illustrate what an incompetent leader Bush was.

This same misguided faction of professed "freedom lovers" continues to urge Obama to withdraw troops from Iraq and Afghanistan without further, unnecessary delay. They think just becuase the war has already cost the United States an estimated $3 Trillion and 4,000 lives, we should stop the bleeding now, rather than prolong the hemorraging of dollars and soldiers.

What? Are these people obsessed with numbers? I mean the whole purpose of having a government is so it can print unlimited amounts of money and dilute the currency's value, right? I mean pretending spending is actually an issue is just so gold standard. And as far as deaths go, that's obviously Bush's fault again.

I mean he invaded the country to begin with. And he left Obama so many other problems, how can the new President be expected to focus on the one that directly results in the loss of American lives and the country's global alienation due to a hyperagressive foreign policy? Why would we want to be friends with the Middle East anyway? I mean, it's not like they control the natural resources necessary to operate the overwhelming majority of the world's transit apparatus. Wait, no. Bad example.

But the point is that it doesn't matter anyway because they'll never be made nuclear capable by a powerful, anti-Western authoritarian state. Actually, let's change the subject.

Obama has taken a lot of heat for bailouts such as that of the U.S. auto industry and the essentail nationalization of insurance behemoth AIG. Debbie Downers such as, perhpas, the folks at that "Super Libertarian" blog would contend that the activity of the government in terms of bailouts is inversely related to the ease of lending, as banks will hesitate to invest, waiting to see if the seemingly random selection process will benefit them as well.

So? Nobody really knows what those wierdos on Wall St. are doing anyway. And this whole thing is their fault anyway. Bush is the worst. He's trading on Wall St. right now, driving down as many stocks as he can get his hands on.

So Barack Obama's legacy will be looked upon favorably by historians if there is any justice in this world. He was the first black president, and will likely be the United States' last president. Two distinctions for which he sould be venerated eternally.